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who am I now
When I was discharged from the hospital, I went home and sat on my porch. And I just sat there. For hours. The sun was so warm and comforting…I realized that the last time I had been outside, it had still been slightly cold out. Now, it felt like summer. The flowers had bloomed. The…
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drifting…endlessly
Things have been different since I almost died. I haven’t posted in a while, because I’ve had a lot going on. Last summer, I had a miscarriage. I had complications from that – blood clots blocking my cervix – and I was in agony. It also left me a mess emotionally; I couldn’t stabilize my…
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drifting
TRIGGER WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS REFERENCES TO SUICIDE / SEVERE DEPRESSION/ SELF HARM/ SUBSTANCE ABUSE. It’s very easy for me to be inspired by something one moment, and then lose all my focus and drive the next. Because between those moments my inner thoughts are basically a bombardment of negativity. It was a startling realization…
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i just want to stay in bed all day
When I was a kid, I used to have terrible nightmares. Frequently. I was fully convinced that my room was haunted. I was the youngest, so I got stuck with both no choice in the room I had and of course, I had the smallest room. But that didn’t bother me so much as the…
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Protected: letting the cables sleep
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my blue heaven 